After much thought I came to the conclusion that there were large portions of the feather ruffling incident that were easy to let go and I did. But there were some things that the feather ruffler had said that left me feeling quite uneasy. That's when I decided that there must be a second part to the "grain of salt" theory because not everything is worthy of just forgetting about and moving on with your life as if it never happened. Actually, I think it is vital to have an open file in the back of your brain where you store these things that are important but that are not worthy of further actions or thoughts immediately. I call this file my "pepper" file. So now I take things with a "grain of salt AND pepper". The unimportant things go over my shoulder in the form of a "grain of salt" and the things that matter (or are hot) go into my "pepper" file where I can access them for future reference if needed.
Let me give you an example. I once dated a guy who was straight out of a Dateline story! He was a compulsive liar but oh so smooth. Unfortunately I was not the first or last woman this cassanova wannabe fooled into believing he was madly in love with only to rob blind behind ours backs. I won't go into details because he really isn't worth of another second of my time. However, some of the stuff he did to me is stored in my "pepper" file (like telling me he had cancer when I tried to break up with him so I would let him stay, only to find out that was all a lie... who does that, right?). By no means do I think all men are always lying to me as a result of this isolated incident but I am slightly more cautious when dating now. For instance if a date tells me he owns his own house I just prefer to fact check (I look it up on the internet... it's fast and easy to do). As a matter of fact I highly recommend that in any new relationship with someone who you have just met you should always proceed with caution. Take it from me that just because words come out of someone's mouth or it is on the internet, that doesn't make it true! I am not saying to be distrusting I am just saying don't be naive.
Another good example is the feather ruffler from before. I had known this person for roughly six months and she had always been quiet and demure but during this particular incident she was asking me to do something that I could not do. Out of nowhere she turned on a dime and went all Carrie on me. Her new persona took me by complete surprise and I had no idea what do make of the whole situation which is why I wanted to talk to my friend who was a mutual acquaintance. When the mutual friend said "grain of salt" she followed by saying that was not who that person was and I should not judge her by that one occurrence. So I had to think about it because what I had seen was nothing short of frightening and mutual acquaintance had never seen that side of feather ruffler before. Mutual acquaintance was mostly right and I did take the bulk of the incident and throw it over my shoulder (behind my back where I would never see it again... grain of salt) and I still look at feather ruffler as I did before that incident . But let me tell you, the whole Carrie scene went straight into the "pepper" file. Trust and believe that I will never be caught alone in a room full of knives with feather ruffler:)
One other thing I would recommend is that if you are holding on to things that are not important and don't really matter (or shouldn't matter) to you, release those things. Life is too short to dwell on things that don't matter... grain of salt. For things you can't let go open up a "pepper" file, file them away, and move on.
Thanks for reading! NOW GO HAVE A FABULOUS DAY!!!
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